THE SQUEEZE: Kalsarikannit - welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!
Posted on January 28 2018
Getting drunk at home in your underwear: welcome to Kalsarikannit, Finland’s answer to Hygge
I don’t know about you, but I never really gelled with the concept of “Hygge”. Much like a Z-list celeb, Hygge (the Danish trend for introducing coziness into everyday life) rose to viral stardom in 2016 landing several book deals and a lot of media attention (we’re still awaiting the perfume launch) instructing us on how you too, could introduce the magic of Hygge to everything from cooking to your sex life.
But following a delirium of Hygge-hype so also came an inevitable Hygge-fatigue: people got bored of knitting and toasting marshmallows. There was a Hygge-crises. Stocks in scheepjes wool plummeted, the artisan tea market crashed…I’m getting carried away.
2017 saw the advent of a phrase much better suited to the vernacular of the millennial 20-something: Kalsarikannit. Loosely defined, Kalsarikannit is the Finnish term for the feeling when you are going to get drunk at home alone in your underwear with no intention of going out. And to think, I used to associate Finland with the Northern lights. So how can you, too introduce Kalsarikannit into your everyday life? An investigation…
Kalsarikannit and Cooking
You’ve probably heard of cooking with wine, but in the spirit of Kalsarikannit – why cook with it when you could just drink the wine, while cooking? This is inevitably a job for oversized Bridget-knickers. Try the STRATUM Ava’s, which will hold you in when you burn the lasagne you’ve attempted to make, and end up eating crisps on the floor at 2.30am (and lets face it, probably the remainders of the failed lasagne as well).
Kalsarikannit and the Work Place
Getting drunk in the workplace is generally frowned upon. If you live outside of London, anyway, but if you’re a city-dweller then your probably familiar with the much-treasured office tradition of drinking from Wednesday afternoon onwards. Worry not; you’re not an alcoholic – simply a keen observer of Kalsarikannit. Get into the true spirit by locking yourself in the stationary cupboard with a bottle of gin and our classic Lenka Slip. Whilst not strictly underwear, it should at least prevent a tribunal.
Kalsarikannit and Sex
Singles should ditch the dreaded January man-hunt in favor of slinking home from the bar early in favor of watching Netflix in your pants with a bottle of Prosecco. Turn off your phone. Channel 90’s Kate Moss in the Hari Halter Bra. You’ll have more fun anyway. Those in a relationship should simply extend a +1 invitation. There’s no rule to say two people can’t Kalsarikannit at the same time (and isn’t it truly in the spirit of Kalsarikannit to make your own rules anyway?).
Kalsarikannit and the home
To embrace the influence of Kalsarikannit into your Feng Shui - leave off doing the laundry for so long that literally all you have left to wear is underwear. Claim you cannot go out and face the bracing January club queue because you have laundry to do, and a house to clean. Take a picture for good measure and upload it to your Instagram account. Instead of doing laundry, pour a stiff one and treat yourself to an evening on the sofa. Repeat this excuse as often as you need to.
Kalsarikannit and Friendship
Find a like-minded friend who also likes pants and dislikes dry January, diets and everything that is not in the spirit of Kalsarikannit. While other pairs are doing pairs-workouts in cold, muddy parks and eating quinoa, clink glasses and hang out in your pants together. Because while Kalsarikannit should strictly be performed alone: everyone knows that getting drunk and being anti-social is best done with your best friend.